You’ve probably seen or heard about the popular trend on TikTok, where women ask men in their lives how often they think about the Roman Empire. TikTok (sadly) doesn’t even work on the GA campus, so we brought this trend to life by asking and interviewing several Brunswick students over the past few weeks. Responses spanned from an enthusiastic “every day” to “never.” Read some of our highlights below. (All names have been changed for the sake of everyone involved. I can’t believe I’ve kept my name on this piece.)

🎯 Wicky McWickerson:
How often do you think about the Roman Empire?
What kind of question is that?

Just answer the question [please].
Maybe like twice a month…?

🎯 Wickibus Wicktorum:
Wickton, how often do you think about the Roman Empire?
Oh God. Which one? There’s three: the Holy Roman Empire, the Easter Roman Empire, and the Western Roman Empire.

[Looks like we have a true Wick scholar on our hands]. All three.
Holy Roman Empire: every day. Eastern Roman Empire: couple times a week. Western Roman Empire: Every. Waking. Moment.

🎯 Wicklebert Wickledink:
What is your name and occupation?
Wicklebert Wickledink. Brunswick student.

[Go Bruins]. How often do you think about the Roman Empire?
Like… three, four times a month.

That’s a lie! That’s not what you said to Ally Gator [Wicklebert’s girlfriend].
Yeah it is.

Oh, OK. Thanks for your time.
[Silence]

[OK, rude]

🎯 Wickton Van Wick:
What is your name and occupation?
Wickton Van Wick. Professional NPC.

And how often do you think about the Roman Empire?
Like every night before I go to sleep. I just, like, dream about, like, Nero and the Roman Empire.

What do you think about it? What is your opinion on it?
Um, yeah, I think it was really good. [Expletives…]

So, the results are in, without a hint of sarcasm. It sounds like many Brunsiwck students do, indeed, think about the Roman Empire at least twice a month, but sometimes… Every. Waking. Moment.